Pursuant to scratching his itch of curiosity, in the hot tub at Sheriff Millstone’s tenement one evening, he asked Dr Prbzt and his wife about their expedition to Indonesia. ‘While you were exploring the islands, did you come across any evidence of recent presence of ET aliens such as Mr Crenshaw described in his article?’
Ibngort shook his head. ‘We saw nothing that fitted his description, much less the cartoon images that illustrated it. Trudy, during your interviews of the women in sheltered jungle communities, did you hear about anything indicating an alien presence?’
‘No, Husband. If I had done so, you would have been the first to know about it.’
The bathers paused to consider the implications of Sogguth’s query. The hot, sudsy water warmed them to the bone, and a steamy vapour rose from the tub.
Finally, Sogguth said, ‘I simply must know how Crenshaw obtained his information and whether it has the slightest truth in it.’
Millhouse said, ‘You can stop by the Cracked Bell pub tomorrow morning if you like and ask him yourself. Perhaps for privacy, you could invite him to take a stroll with you to discuss the matter. We would not like to arouse any concerns among the newsmen or the citizens. Specifically, what does the printed material in the tabloids suggest to you?’
‘At this point, I am working on a hunch. It may turn out to be nothing, but it also may indicate a very recent incursion in East Timor of a scouting party from the Universe Council. You see, members of the opposite faction to mine are bound and determined to find fault with our idea of peaceful coexistence of Earth beings and extra-terrestrials. They are so committed to their point of view that they are willing to go to any extent to manufacture evidence to confirm their beliefs.’
Fatty asked, ‘What makes you suspect they are doing anything of the kind?’
‘Crenshaw’s description of the remains of aliens with huge crania and numerous tentacles for one thing. The location of the remains on the other side of Earth from our current location suggests a clandestine operation. Finally, the absence of any such evidence during the Prbzts’ expedition might indicate the scouts were dispatched from the Council around the time I last departed from their demesne.’
Dr Sarah Millstone extended her tentacles in the warm water and said, ‘Mr Sogguth, we are not familiar with the military and political machinations of the Council. Perhaps you could enlighten us about how such operations are supposed to work?’
Sogguth sank into the water so that only his head remained above the froth and bubbles. ‘The Council has such operations throughout the universe. The first step is a scouting venture with very specific parameters. The scouting team is a cadre of highly specialised and highly cleared individuals whose reports—substantiated by implemented interrogation—become the bases for actions meant to prepare the intelligence of the future battle space and begin the engineering of space ports and logistics facilities for a full-scale invasion. I have been a member of such a scouting party on two occasions. In the first such case, there was no basis for moving forward militarily. In the second such, the steps toward military operations were followed in minute detail and led to invasion and subjugation.’
‘That certainly does not sound benign,’ Sarah said.
‘It was far worse in execution than it sounds,’ Sogguth replied. ‘That is why we must get to the bottom of the supposition that a scouting mission has been launched.’
The next morning, Sogguth met Crenshaw at the Cracked Bell and invited him to walk and talk in the public gardens. His excuse was to ask questions about a few of the articles that recently appeared in the newshound’s tabloid. Crenshaw was delighted to have a reader ask questions, but he was somewhat confused that Sogguth should be the inquisitor as he had not been considered to have material evidence about the alien presence.
On the greensward in the sunny day, Sogguth began his investigation with a few easy questions about the sources for the cartoons Crenshaw had used with his stories.
‘For the most part, I let my cartoonist make the selections from stock work he had done for my previous stories on the alien theme. In four separate illustrations, we worked with drawings done for other publications—two from scholarly journals and two from speculative journals. For example, the figures with the enormous brain cavities were taken from as-yet-unpublished scholarly accounts of an astonishing Oxbridge expedition to East Timor. I interviewed the lead figure for that dig, and he was most circumspect as he had not yet vetted his work through the learned communities. To have the best chance of veracity, he omitted the presence of tentacles found on the remains, but I restored them in my images.’
‘Mr Crenshaw, you are telling me you worked with an eyewitness who had excavated the remains and shaped your cartoon accordingly.’
‘That is correct. I had landed a scoop that should have put me ahead of Mr Straight in our contest, but I could not vouchsafe the matter as I was sworn to secrecy about the circumstances. Under no circumstances was I to jeopardise the learned professor’s chances of being respected.’
Sogguth was excited, but he withheld his enthusiasm and pressed forward in a monotone. ‘So let’s talk for a moment about the dig site itself—if such a dialog will not be in breach of your promises.’
‘Well, the contest is over, and I can always say you got me wrong with your details. So ask your questions.’
‘First, was the dig site an ancient one, or a recent one?’
‘My professor was still trying to date the find, but he thought it must be very recent indeed. In fact, he said it seemed like a recent crash site for an alien vehicle and not his usual ancient find. He was worried about parsing alien bodies that had been scattered after their vehicle’s impact in the jungle. He muttered something about having to report to military authorities, an action that would surely cause the authorities to seize what he had discovered as a matter of international security.’
‘Do you know whether he did report his findings to the military?’
‘Do you think I would be permitted to talk about the details if he had done so? Certainly not!’
Sogguth said, ‘You must have gotten a lot more than you published about the man’s find.’
‘Indeed, I have done. I could make you a drawing of the crash site, with the location of the wreckage of the alien vehicle and where the bodies were found.’
Sogguth decided to lower the excitement of Crenshaw and himself. ‘Did you and your cartoonist make such a drawing that you have not yet published?’
‘We have done that. Why, we have the makings of the scoop of the century!’
‘I believe you. Mr Crenshaw. Did you also see photographs of the aliens that died at the site?’
‘My cartoonist and I were shown the corpses of eight alien figures, all pretty much like the one we published. My cartoonist made images of each of them. All are labelled with the university indicia. With the text I have written, we are ready to go to publication with one hour’s notification.’
‘So what do you think happened to the unfortunate aliens?’
Crenshaw squinted at Sogguth. ‘I suppose it can do no harm to tell the likes of you. I firmly believe that we have in East Timor the remains of a current military scouting expedition, which ran into a patch of severe weather and crashed, losing all aboard.’
‘What evidence do you have that foul weather was involved in the crash?’
‘The professor asked the tribal elders in the region. They uniformly said a terrible thunderstorm with numerous simultaneous lightning strikes brought the alien vehicle down after it exploded over the trees of the jungle.’
Sogguth shook his head. ‘Aliens or not, their unfortunate end seems pathetic.’
‘It may also have been providential if my guess that they were on a military scouting mission proves correct.’
‘My advice in that case is for your professor and you to turn over all your gathered evidence to the Ministry of Defence as soon as possible. That would unfortunately include your notes and all the drawings you and your cartoonist made of the site, the vehicle parts and the bodies. If you are right, this scouting mission will not be the last one. Further, the aliens who sent those scouts are likely to take their disappearance as an act of war by Earth, not as the result of inclement weather.’
Crenshaw said, ‘Just my luck! But you are correct, Mr Sogguth. I am a patriot first and a glory hound second. I’m afraid I must be off right away for Oxford to meet my professor, but first I want to report what you have heard to Sheriff Millstone at the pub.’
Sogguth and the newshound retraced their steps to the Cracked Bell, where Sogguth heard Crenshaw give his full report to Millstone. Then, after the sheriff repeated the advice to turn in all evidence of the crash to the authorities, Crenshaw departed to collect his cartoonist and their portfolio before taking the train to Oxford. He promised to telephone the sheriff as soon as the professor had contacted the authorities.
Sogguth rolled his eyes when Millstone asked his opinion of the alien crash story. ‘We shall have plenty to discuss in the hot tub this evening. For once, I am glad to be following one of my hunches to its logical conclusion. Make no mistake, we have not heard the last of alien scouting missions. Perhaps you should arrange to brief your friend, the Prime Minister, as well as the Minister of Defence as soon as possible.’
The remainder of the day was spent preparing for meetings in the command centre and hot tub at the sheriff’s tenement.
The Prime Minister was instantly aware of the implications of the scouting mission. He asked for an immediate briefing by Sogguth in the tenement’s command centre. There, he decreed that all information and intelligence about the alien crash and its implications should be classified Most Secret and collected under the caveat Indonesian Holiday, which should have the smallest possible number of cleared members.
The Defence Minister, Dennis Owlsby, who was also a plank owner of the new caveat, formed a working committee including Sogguth, the two Millstones, the two Prbzts, the PM and his two amanuenses, and three members of his personal staff. Their charge was to draw up a threat assessment as well as a plan of action against an alien invasion.
Sogguth, naturally, became the subject matter expert with the most exhaustive knowledge of the likely future actions of the Universe Council. On the spot, the Minister of Defence awarded Sogguth the nation’s highest medal for civilian service, Defender of the Realm with Oak Cluster.
While the discussants prepared to segue from the command centre to the hot tub, Crenshaw called to say the Oxbridge professor had agreed to turn over all his materials about the crash site to the authorities. To that end, Millstone directed the newshound and the professor to proceed directly to the tenement forthwith and to bring with them all their materials. He stated the pair should plan to remain his guests at the tenement for the next week at a minimum for debriefing.
In the hot tub, Sogguth informed the other bathers about his background with the Universe Council as well as his personal participation in at least two scouting missions for them. The sticky issue of his relationship with both of the warring factions of the Council was seen by Sir Douglas as the best news he had heard in over a month.
Dr Sarah Millstone was in her element talking about the nation’s readiness to perform space medicine as they prepared to conduct space warfare. ‘There was nothing the scouting mission could do about its predicament with the severe weather. My question is what to do to avoid or at least deflect criticism of Earth in the destruction of the scouting vehicle.’
Sogguth said, ‘In all likelihood, I shall have to return to the Council to report what happened and face implemented interrogation to prove my fidelity. I know of no similar disaster befalling a scouting mission during my tenure, so there will be a heavy burden for truth in my telling. While I am away, I believe you should make all preparations to wage war—clandestinely, of course. In the best case, the Council will believe my story, but they are bound to be concerned about how Earth will react to the news of the failed scouting mission. As to whether I should ask my betrothed to accompany me on my journey, she and I will work that out. So that she may understand the stakes, I would like her to be indoctrinated into Indonesian Holiday.’
The Minister of Defence harrumphed loudly before he said, ‘Look around you, Sogguth. Here we believe in man-and-wife teams. Of course, she shall be granted access to the caveat in any case, but why risk her life with you on a dangerous mission when she could take your part here while you are gone?’
The Prime Minister and his wife, the Lady Lucille, agreed with the Minister of Defence, but they also felt the hero Sogguth and his fiancé should be given the opportunity to work things out on their own terms.
Sogguth said, ‘We have a much more difficult issue to decide upon—the Oxbridge professor and the newshound. I would not be in favour of civilians being given the privilege of entering such a caveat as we have just created. Yet we must devise sufficient incentives for them to accommodate themselves for being left out of the action their researches catalysed.’
The rest of the night was consumed in deliberations about the professor and the newshound. Finally, they decided on a cash award for the newshound and a medal for the professor, provided neither mentioned their alien crash investigations to anyone, ever.
